Who do I want to be 10 years from now?
I've been thinking about this question: who do I want to be 10 years from now? My 30th birthday was a little over two months ago, and I don't feel very much more mature than I did when I was 29. It's not that I haven't been growing - I've definitely grown a lot through the scheduling fiasco at school, if nothing else. What bothers me is that I'm feeling limited in the other areas where I should be growing - mostly because I am wasting hours every day doing things that don't result in growth. The two big ones right now are Reddit and Minecraft. I say it like it's a huge deal, but it's basically just some extra time that I want to spend more carefully. Looking back on the last 10 years of my life, I don't really wish that I had spent more time playing Guitar Hero or Starcraft 2 or the various other video games that I've invested hundreds of hours into. Let's be honest - video games are an escape from reality like drugs and alcohol. Granted, there are other arguments like books also being an escape - but books really do make you smarter (maybe some of them don't - those would be the escape from reality books) so I'd rather spend time reading books than playing video games.
Like so many of my other posts, I think this one is another reflection on how I want to be spending my time. I have been spending more time with my family, and I have been spending more time helping Megan around the house. I've also wasted a lot of minutes, probably hours per day, doing things that, looking back 10 years from now, I probably will wish that I hadn't done.
Maybe I should write this post backwards, as if it were me looking back 10 years from now. 10 years ago, I probably would have given myself a lot of advice on being a better teacher. I also would have been encouraging myself to invest my time in other experiences besides video games. The most important thing would have been encouraging myself to develop stronger relationships with other people.
Ten years have passed since I wrote this post. I would have spent a lot more time focusing on my health - go get checked by a doctor and start eating healthy and exercising TODAY, and do it every day. I also would have said, get outside more. Spend more time developing friendships. The best way to have a best friend in 10 years is to start today. Choose your friends wisely - always be there to help anyone who asks, but spend most of your time with people who will sharpen you and build you up, not drag you down to old habits and old times. Enjoy your kids every day and always stay close to them - once they start to drift away it is impossible to bring them back - but don't force yourself upon them if they want to do their own thing. They are people too, even if they're your kids. Also spend time with your wife and make great memories together while staying close every day. Help her out as much as you can, because when she is happy and has energy, she is more willing to spend time with you. She won't slow down, so stop expecting her to share the load with you - you have to take some of it from her without asking or telling. Good luck! As for work, keep better records of your ideas. Start writing your book now so that it'll be easier to actually write it when you get older. You are smart, and your ideas are worth sharing. A degree is just a piece of paper that you don't really need. Do the work and pursue your own education. You can play piano if you start now. You will be well-known in the musical community if you continue to practice trumpet and pursue voice lessons. Start now, don't wait. If you waste 10 minutes a day, 365 days a year, that's almost 61 hours - what project could you finish in 61 hours? If you waste an hour a day, that's 365 hours. Two and a half hours a day is about 1,000 hours per year. You know the rule, it takes 10,000 hours to be a professional, so ten years at two and a half hours per day. You have at least 2 1/2 hours every day, so use that time wisely.
1) Practicing piano 15-30 minutes per day
2) Practicing trumpet 15-30 minutes per day
3) Practicing secondary instruments 15-30 minutes per day
4) Exercising 15-30 minutes per day
5) Reading research 15-30 minutes per day
6) Bible study 15-30 minutes per day
7) Reflection 15-30 minutes per day
I mean, you have work from 8:00-4:00, that's non-negotiable. You have to help around the house and raise the kids and spend time with Megan every day, that's also non-negotiable. You have to eat and clean up and get dressed, too. Oh yeah, you have to sleep. That's non-negotiable.
So, what's a good schedule look like?
6:00 AM - Wake up, bible study or piano practice, maybe yoga or reading
6:30 AM - Shower, dress, eat, get ready for the day
7:00 AM - Time with Megan, transitioning into getting the kids up
7:30 AM - Go to school early every day, it just helps - trust me.
8:00 AM - Work at school
12:00 PM - Eat lunch, sometimes at home, sometimes at school
12:30 PM - Keep working at school
4:00 PM - Stay late for a little bit and do some reflection
4:30 PM - This is a good time to exercise after work
5:00 PM - Help around the house, whether that's kids, cooking, or chores
5:30 PM - Eat dinner with the family, maybe inviting people over
6:00 PM -
6:30 PM
7:00 PM
7:30 PM
8:00 PM
8:30 PM
9:00 PM - Get ready for bed, brush teeth, maybe read a little
9:30 PM - Sleep until 6:00 and then repeat the schedule.
So what goes in the schedule after dinner? That's the 2 1/2 hours that I struggle with now. I don't want to go back to the school to do more work. Part of me says that Megan deserves that time off - should I talk to her about that? Like, I should be taking responsibility for the kids and the house for those 2 1/2 hours while Megan gets do do something that she wants to do. Part of me says that I should be using that time to practice music, raise the kids, spend time with Megan, invite people over or go out... so basically anything. Right now it's 7:08 - I have two more hours before going to bed, so what am I going to do to make the most of that time? I want a plan, I need a plan. I want something long term, like for the next three weeks I am going to xyz as much as I can between 6:00 and 9:00. Like, there should definitely be some wiggle room to spend unplanned time with family and helping around the house. Goodness, I wish that I had an office too. I would love to be able to work and study in the evening, but it's hard to do that here in the living room because I feel like I'm neglecting my family - they're all sitting around and my back is turned to them while I type on the computer. It's another thing that I need to talk to Megan about. Anyway, that's about it for now - maybe I need to go talk to Megan now and see what she thinks. It's three hours between 6:00 and 9:00 - I shouldn't get all of that to myself. Aiming for half and half would be better in my opinion. Also having it be flexible is super important - not really planned or tracked, but always being conscious of how much time I'm taking by myself versus allowing Megan to take by herself. That's that.
Like so many of my other posts, I think this one is another reflection on how I want to be spending my time. I have been spending more time with my family, and I have been spending more time helping Megan around the house. I've also wasted a lot of minutes, probably hours per day, doing things that, looking back 10 years from now, I probably will wish that I hadn't done.
Maybe I should write this post backwards, as if it were me looking back 10 years from now. 10 years ago, I probably would have given myself a lot of advice on being a better teacher. I also would have been encouraging myself to invest my time in other experiences besides video games. The most important thing would have been encouraging myself to develop stronger relationships with other people.
Ten years have passed since I wrote this post. I would have spent a lot more time focusing on my health - go get checked by a doctor and start eating healthy and exercising TODAY, and do it every day. I also would have said, get outside more. Spend more time developing friendships. The best way to have a best friend in 10 years is to start today. Choose your friends wisely - always be there to help anyone who asks, but spend most of your time with people who will sharpen you and build you up, not drag you down to old habits and old times. Enjoy your kids every day and always stay close to them - once they start to drift away it is impossible to bring them back - but don't force yourself upon them if they want to do their own thing. They are people too, even if they're your kids. Also spend time with your wife and make great memories together while staying close every day. Help her out as much as you can, because when she is happy and has energy, she is more willing to spend time with you. She won't slow down, so stop expecting her to share the load with you - you have to take some of it from her without asking or telling. Good luck! As for work, keep better records of your ideas. Start writing your book now so that it'll be easier to actually write it when you get older. You are smart, and your ideas are worth sharing. A degree is just a piece of paper that you don't really need. Do the work and pursue your own education. You can play piano if you start now. You will be well-known in the musical community if you continue to practice trumpet and pursue voice lessons. Start now, don't wait. If you waste 10 minutes a day, 365 days a year, that's almost 61 hours - what project could you finish in 61 hours? If you waste an hour a day, that's 365 hours. Two and a half hours a day is about 1,000 hours per year. You know the rule, it takes 10,000 hours to be a professional, so ten years at two and a half hours per day. You have at least 2 1/2 hours every day, so use that time wisely.
1) Practicing piano 15-30 minutes per day
2) Practicing trumpet 15-30 minutes per day
3) Practicing secondary instruments 15-30 minutes per day
4) Exercising 15-30 minutes per day
5) Reading research 15-30 minutes per day
6) Bible study 15-30 minutes per day
7) Reflection 15-30 minutes per day
I mean, you have work from 8:00-4:00, that's non-negotiable. You have to help around the house and raise the kids and spend time with Megan every day, that's also non-negotiable. You have to eat and clean up and get dressed, too. Oh yeah, you have to sleep. That's non-negotiable.
So, what's a good schedule look like?
6:00 AM - Wake up, bible study or piano practice, maybe yoga or reading
6:30 AM - Shower, dress, eat, get ready for the day
7:00 AM - Time with Megan, transitioning into getting the kids up
7:30 AM - Go to school early every day, it just helps - trust me.
8:00 AM - Work at school
12:00 PM - Eat lunch, sometimes at home, sometimes at school
12:30 PM - Keep working at school
4:00 PM - Stay late for a little bit and do some reflection
4:30 PM - This is a good time to exercise after work
5:00 PM - Help around the house, whether that's kids, cooking, or chores
5:30 PM - Eat dinner with the family, maybe inviting people over
6:00 PM -
6:30 PM
7:00 PM
7:30 PM
8:00 PM
8:30 PM
9:00 PM - Get ready for bed, brush teeth, maybe read a little
9:30 PM - Sleep until 6:00 and then repeat the schedule.
So what goes in the schedule after dinner? That's the 2 1/2 hours that I struggle with now. I don't want to go back to the school to do more work. Part of me says that Megan deserves that time off - should I talk to her about that? Like, I should be taking responsibility for the kids and the house for those 2 1/2 hours while Megan gets do do something that she wants to do. Part of me says that I should be using that time to practice music, raise the kids, spend time with Megan, invite people over or go out... so basically anything. Right now it's 7:08 - I have two more hours before going to bed, so what am I going to do to make the most of that time? I want a plan, I need a plan. I want something long term, like for the next three weeks I am going to xyz as much as I can between 6:00 and 9:00. Like, there should definitely be some wiggle room to spend unplanned time with family and helping around the house. Goodness, I wish that I had an office too. I would love to be able to work and study in the evening, but it's hard to do that here in the living room because I feel like I'm neglecting my family - they're all sitting around and my back is turned to them while I type on the computer. It's another thing that I need to talk to Megan about. Anyway, that's about it for now - maybe I need to go talk to Megan now and see what she thinks. It's three hours between 6:00 and 9:00 - I shouldn't get all of that to myself. Aiming for half and half would be better in my opinion. Also having it be flexible is super important - not really planned or tracked, but always being conscious of how much time I'm taking by myself versus allowing Megan to take by herself. That's that.
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